Developing Character in (and homeschooling with) toddlers in the home.
Many of you have asked us how to manage the "little ones" around the home while you are teaching the older children academically. Because it is our heart that you teach your younger children character issues prior to academics, we have provided this outline for your review. It is our hope that you will find this outline (that Jay and I use in conferences) to help you gain a vision of order and character in your preschoolers/toddlers/primary grade children. If you have any specific questions regarding this outline, please post them on our message board. We hope to have this series (Part 1 of 2) available in either audio or video soon.
Homeschooling with Toddlers/Preschoolers in the Home, or better known as, Developing Character in your Toddler/Preschooler part 1
I. Bring in the boundaries
Why: Proverbs 26:5 Answer a fool according to his folly (intellect or depravity of mind), or he will be wise in his own eyes.
Purpose: To create healthy learning patterns, overall character training, self-control, focusing skills, patience, and it reinforces family values.
This will impact more than just your homeschool environment.
Your child will be much more secure when they know your family values and have clearly defined parameters.
It is important to understand the impact of the decisions that you have with your younger children today, will effect them later in life.
2. How to bring in the boundaries
Understand age appropriate freedoms.
Freedoms are earned (or given), not taken. Children can handle choices when they can handle no choice. Freedoms are earned by demonstrating responsible behavior.
TEST: Examples.... Do any of these sound familiar
Physical: Child allowed to help himself to apple/snacks without asking, getting into the refrigerator for a drink, baby powder decorated around the baby's room, coloring on the walls, ripped books, plays in the water in the bathroom sink, changes his/her clothes during the day, maybe even chooses the cereal or breakfast he eats, what cup he uses, what he wears..... not that this all are sinful in themselves, but it will promote a child who is wise in his own eyes. Answers the phone without having been completely trained how.
Verbal: Says, "No" to Mom or Dad. Regularly "sasses" or grumbles and complains. Always has to interject...., "but"...... or outright says, "I don't want to" or "why"...(challenging why....not curiosity) ** **we know,,,,,this is a whole different area.....The verbal freedoms have to do with issues of the heart....sorry, that's more than this article can address right now.... Istead we will now turn the corner and focus on how to bring in the boundaries to establish peace, harmony, and order in the home . If you are really desperate in these areas, be sure to pick up the books Child Training Tips and On Becoming ChildWise.
Develop a schedule .
Use the book Managers of Their Homes to help organize all areas of your life. From cooking, cleaning, homeschooling, daily responsibilities, etc.... Include all family members. (Except your spouse, unless he allows you to make his schedule too....HIGHLY UNLIKELY! )
Share and Post the schedule. This will allow for your spouse/grandparents/caregivers to follow the schedule in your absence.
Schedule character developing activities in your younger children's day.
Plan character-developing *activities throughout the day. Your child will benefit by having these activities scheduled in their day. You may schedule multiple times for each.
Sit and Read time : a scheduled time that the child quietly sits and reads books.
Sit and Listen time : a scheduled time that the child quietly sits and listens to tapes. Can be music or story.
Playtime : a scheduled time when the child has isolated playtime in a designated area.
Mommy-Daddy Tape time : a fun scripted tape that Mom and Dad make individually for the child.
Sibling Playtime : scheduled time that a sibling plays with a child
Sit and Read time
Character qualities: self-control, patience, obedience through the use of boundaries)
Benefits: Teaches a love for books, help them enjoy being alone and not always entertained, they will learn to sit still in church, in the car, during rest time, Dr.'s visits, and Sunday School. It will also increase their focusing and concentration skills.
Extended blessings are: You will be able to feel comfortable taking your morning shower, you can prepare lunch/dinner, use it during over-stimulated times, when you go to the hairdresser, during mommy-daddy time, it develops a time when the child takes a break and sits down that can later be used to transition to time with the Lord. when you have company, and you may actually be able to have your devotional time
Rules:
You may need to separate children if you see that they may provoke or disturb each-other during this time.
Only a few books.
No talking.
Set a time limit. Start with short limits; gradually moving up. Remember to encourage your children.
Use a timer.
Use a special chair or isolate. Highchair if they have violated the rules.
Let them participate in choosing the books. (go to the library and pick out colorful and exciting books. Always pre-skim)
Sit and Listen time
Character qualities: self-control, patience, obedience through boundaries.
Benefits: Teaches concentration, attentiveness, imagination, and focusing skills.
Rules:
Pre-selected area. If they continually violate the boundaries, you may want to move them to the highchair.
Can play with other toys; your choice.
Designated time. Start with 10-15. Work up.
Use a timer.
Use special tapes during this time. Possibly Mommy-Daddy tape
Playtime
Character qualities: creativity, contentment, obedience through the use of boundaries.
Benefits: Teaches them independent play. Enjoy being alone vs. being entertained. Develops routine, (in case of an emergency, you can depend on it. Can do housework, phone calls, etc.. (don't abuse the phone call freedoms!) Can take them to the nursery, homeschool meeting and the child will feel secure even when mom isn't right there. Can help in preventing some sibling rivalry--can't wait to see/play with each other after they are done. Can go to somebody else's home and use this tool.
Rules:
Parent designates the time. 20-30 minutes. Use a timer!
Under 2....use a playpen. Over 2, first confinement of either a blanket or bed, then gradually move up to the whole bedroom.
Announce it.
Make sure they have gone potty and had drinks before you begin.
Exhibits good stewardship with toys and furniture.
Rotate the toys....clean out as necessary. (don't exacerbate...1 basket of toys at a time. Otherwise they may be frustrated at the end of playtime because of the time it takes to clean up.
Mommy-Daddy Tape time
Character qualities: whatever areas that you decide as a couple that needs to be reinforced. They will know your values and standards from what you express on the tape.
Benefits: In a sense, you are spending individual time with your child. (if you have many children, this can be a plus!) They will be reassured of your love by your verbal reinforcements. It can increase their knowledge and wisdom. It can reach their heart.
Rules:
Use a happy and cheerful voice when making the tape.
Speak slowly and clearly.
Use words of praise and encouragement.
Use the child's name often.
Go beyond your child's academic ability.
Use Bible verses, songs, alphabet songs, counting, days of week, month, address, phone #, manner, how to behave in church, how to show respect, how to interrupt, etc....
Sibling Playtime
Character qualities: Patience, endurance, cooperation, yielding, respect, and sacrificial love.
Benefits: Develops a love relationship between siblings, promotes family identity, older children learn to teach, positive socialization, can give Mom/Dad a much needed break!!!
Rules:
Older children help younger children. You are training them how to parent.
Possibly require the child to show verbal respect to the older child by saying, "Yes, Josh."
Allow each child to take turns on what is to be played with.
Set a time limit.
Encourage your older child to "build up" the younger child in their words.
These ideas can be found in the book Creative Family Times.
Go to Part 2 now
