Building Positive and Strong Family Identities by Kelli Johnson

Whether or not you have set out intentionally to create a family identity, you have one. The point of this article will be to encourage you to create a positive and strong family identity. You will be challenged to examine those values that will set your family apart from all others.

To begin developing a strong family identity, you may first want to make a list of "non-negotiable values" that your family agrees upon. This list may consist of 5 or 50. There is no set amount or limit, you decide. We believe it is important to establish and provide practical examples of your families chosen values. As a result, each family member will know what actions should be evident in those values.

Here is an example of this process: If your family lists the value of respect for one another, you may suggest that when speaking with each other, that there is complete eye contact and attention given. It is one thing to have an attitude of respect, and quite another to have an action that is consistent with respect.

We have also supplied a copy of "The Johnson Family Values"; with the actions that compliment the value established.

1. Our family is the priority over all other relationships.

What this looks like in our family: We limit outside influences and activities so that our hearts do not wander. Our priority is to show love to one another. If for some reason one of us is not showing love to another, than that person will forfeit outside relationships for a time and commit that time to the offended. We believe that we must first serve as a witness for Christ in our own home before taking it outside of the home.

2. Our actions and speech reflect our love for one another.

What this looks like in our family: We use cordials of please and thank you. We are committed to maintaining a normal level voice when speaking to one another. We carefully consider our words before speaking.

3. We love the Lord and seek to do His will in all things.

What this looks like in our family: We spend time in the Word on a regular basis to know what the Lord requires of us.

4. We will not let the sun go down on our anger.

What this looks like in our family: When there is a disagreement within our family, we agree to stop and pray together before going to bed.

5. We will be honest and trustworthy.

What this looks like in our family: We will not distort the truth or lead someone to believe something is true when we know in our heart it is not.

6. We will have integrity.

What this looks like in our family: We take responsibility for our actions. We acknowledge our mistakes and seek forgiveness if necessary.

7. We have positive attitudes.

What this looks like in our family: We will believe the best in others and in ourselves. We will look for joy in all things. We strive to not grumble or complain no matter how subtle.

8. We are hard workers.

What this looks like in our family: We will be diligent workers, not succumbing to laziness. We will keep our bodies healthy and maintain the energy to work hard doing all things unto the Lord.

9. We will walk in humility.

What this looks like in our family: When we lose, we will accept it with grace and integrity, and encourage the winner. When we win, we will not boast in our own abilities. We will give the Lord glory in all things.

10. We will have mutual respect for one another.

What that looks like in our family: We will value and affirm one another’s opinions and feelings whether we agree or not. We will consider others feelings above our own. When communicating with one another, we will use eye contact and give them our full attention.

You may want to have your list typed up, framed, and posted in your home. Be sure to have it in an accessible place in your home for all of the members to see on a regular basis. Or, you may want to make up 3x5 cards with this list and laminate them for each member of your family. Above all else, be diligent to encourage one another and maintain a positive family identity.

Download an 8x10 card with these 10 Family Values from the Free Download link to the left.